Response: Series of Omissions

Series of Omissions is an obituary style narration about the life of Norman O’Conner, a man both loved and hated by his family. After Norman was diagnosed with a terminal disease, he attempted to change his attitudes and establish a connection with his family. The story examines both the positive and negative effects of his personality as we are exposed to bits of his life and the relationship between his wife, daughter, and two sons. 

First off, as always, I really enjoyed this. Your descriptions are simple but brilliantly displayed and a believable character is introduced. He obviously has defects; my favorite line is the beginning of the second paragraph, "and a quantity of appalling pornography hidden beneath the toolshed..." This introduces into the story a sense of comic relief, while at the same time providing us with a true look into Norman’s lifestyle. These components allow for the reader to establish a sympathetic bond with the deceased and they gives the story an extra emotional tone of sadness. 

However, I didn’t like a few elements to the story. To start with, I can’t decide if I like how short it is, at times, it doesn’t read like a short story, but more of a eulogy. And we don’t get a lot of background information on Norman. Splices of information are thrown in as we experience the family dynamics and glimpse at pieces of his enigmatic character. We see what makes him so unique but what led him to act in such a manner? Why is he so at odds with his daughter and what disease did he die from? A few details are missing that would make this seem much more cohesive.